A Cleaver In Yer Eye
by Rolling Red Rat
Summary: Heavy AU. Crack treated seriously? A veritable psychopath in a world of ninjas and other, possibly less psycho, psychopaths. Of course, many obstacles will obstruct these psychopaths from their varying objectives, one of them being what most think to be a cleaver. But, as the psycho-est psychopath will tell you, it was most definitely a kitchen knife. He’ll show you, if you want..
1. It’s-Not-A-Cleaver!

AN: Honestly, I don't even know what this is. It's fun to write though, so... why not?

By the way, I'm bad at drawing and just generally lazy, so I just took a picture of my cat for the cover. _Conveniently_, he's going to have a summon that looks just like that!

..._anyways_, this is going to be a weird story featuring heavily OOC characters, my OC, and psychotic people all around! I would just like to say that I don't condone anything my characters do, say, or even think. I'm all-in-all way too lazy to be a villain...

Warnings: Violence, Probable Future Coarse Language, Insanity?

Obligatory Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, there would be a lot more crazy.

•AVAVA•

At six years old, I was kicked out of the orphanage.

Really, they had reason to. A crooked soul like mine could never be tolerated by anyone, let alone by such sensitive people as the citizens of Konoha.

I know they had a reason to, but I really was just inquiring. I wanted to know how easy it was to slice someone open, how it felt to have blood on my hands.

The adults always said that it would feel bad, like someone stabbed you in the gut, twisted the knife, and left it in. They explained how your chest would bleed invisible tears, and how your head would paint images of ghosts on the back of your eyelids. You would never be able to sleep, and the pain would stay with you for eternity.

But then, one day, the matron told me that people can adapt to anything, if given enough time.

I merely asked if I could adapt to the guilt that accompanies murder by committing it early, starting with my fat, intolerable roommate who snores like the pig that he's named after.

She gasped, wrapped her hands around my neck firmly, and prayed to god that he might kill the demon living within me.

I asked her why she thought my soul was a demon.

That, a few questionable questions beforehand, and my red eyes was all that it took to convince her that I was not possessed, but a demon myself.

Then, she truly, brutally, _kicked_ me right out of the kitchen door, grabbed a trusty kitchen knife, and sliced it through my eye.

Fortunately, she was quite terrified, and her fear loosened the grip on her knife.

It told me plenty about her, and how she couldn't even use her fear as she told us to.

It showed me a hypocrite, a coward, and an idiot, and I knew that I was lucky to have been born insane.

After this realization, I began to see weakness in everyone I saw thereafter, many either looking in disgust or pity at the dirty orphan roaming the streets with a knife in his eye.

Well, I wasn't roaming much. I had a very planned destination indeed. Unfortunately, I was stopped quite a bit, and had to assure many that I was as competent as a five year old can be, and I knew very well where the hospital was.

I was on a very straight road, and the hospital was very easy to see. Yet, they still looked hesitant to let me go. I was made to take quite a few stops, but my destination eventually came close enough. Then I was stopped. So, I made to take the knife out of my eye... and maybe stab someone with it. That would answer my question, right?

That is, until my one good eye stumbled upon a rather interesting situation.

I ignored the idiots and limped to the near-hidden Hyūga compound, a slight detour that was sure to take but a minute.

That's what I thought, at least...

"Sir, what's that bundle in your arms?" I asked curiously, standing on my one tiptoe and peering into the blanket. "Ah, a Hyūga kid. That would fetch a pretty penny, wouldn't it?"

The man stared at me a moment, shock, confusion, amusement and suspicion tugging at his scarred features.

"What's it t' ye? Ye knows ye got's a cleaver in yer eye, don'ya?"

I sigh, wincing as the metal shook.

"A kitchen knife, sir. I was just on my way to the hospital. But, sir... you do know how the Hyūga see, don't you? I wouldn't walk any further."

The man's face borders on disturbance, but his hardened years have clearly seen much.

"What wed ye knows, squir'?"

"Well, sir, everyone who's been around one knows how they see. You clearly haven't, or you wouldn't have planned on stepping here. I'm not a threat... but anyone with as much chakra as you will be detected here. I can show you a better way, but I'll need something back."

"Why wed I trus'ye? And hows de ye knows tis', anyway?"

"I told you. I'm around one all the time, and if you just make his range bigger, you've got the Head. And you should trust me, because I want something. Something nobody will give me. Hey, for a little more, I can tell you 'bout a bonus caravan to sneak out with."

"That wen't be necess'ry. What'd'ye want?"

"Hmm... I would've thought that was obvious. Kidding! I'd just like a couple dozen kunai."

"After ye get me ute, iss' a deal." He grunts, gesturing for me to take the lead.

AVAVA

"'M s'prised. Ye really're sic?"

"My birthday's in a month, so it's probably unfair to say so."

"Well, ye truly're smart fer sevn. 'Cunnin'' is mer like it."

He stares at me a second, then starts barking in laughter.

"Ye're mer twisted then that, 'ctually. The kind'er twisted that kemms frem te' sell, ye. Te' werst I'ver seen."

"Thank you, sir. That must be quite an accomplishment."

"Ye knows it. Qual'ty vill'n materr'ial. Jus' remember te' kindness uh' Kum're."

"If I ever see you in the field, I'll be sure to send the bad ones your way."

He barks some more, sending me one last grin before going on his way out of Konoha with the little bundle in big, gnarled hand.

"Oops, nearly forgot about the kitchen knife." I chuckle faintly, picking myself off of the grass and wobbling across the training field.

I'm finally picked up, _thrown_ on someone's back, and rushed to the hospital.

I must have passed out somewhere along the way, because when I wake up, I'm in a boring room and an uncomfortable bed.

"Too soft..." I mutter, sighing as I feel the muscles around my eye socket try to move something that... _definitely_ isn't my eye. "Cold."

"You're cold?" A worried nurse says, hovering over my bed.

I point to the empty socket, the draft starting to irritate me even more.

"Ah, yes. They said that they need to let it heal a bit more before putting a fake eye in, if that's what you'd like."

"What's the cheapest option?"

"Well, I suppose we could cover it with something... the conformer is already in, so your eyelids will retain their original shape. There wasn't any damage to the brain, surprisingly. The person carrying you said that the knife had been in for a while. You're lucky it didn't pierce any deeper... honestly, what were you thinking?"

"I got distracted." I answer simply, touching the bandage around my eye.

That shocks her enough to keep her silent for a moment, but she eventually starts nagging me again.

"You're going to have quite the scar! Don't you realize what just _happened_? You lost an _eye_. Your sight will never be the same!"

"Hmm... the matron said that humans can adapt to anything. Do you think that's true?"

"Well... yes, but that doesn't mean that the eye will be coming back." She blinks.

"I know. That doesn't matter much, does it? Just a bit of a blind spot."

She stares at me, eyebrow twitching.

"Never mind. So... do you have a guardian?"

"The matron is the one who did this. I don't think that you can call her much of a '_guardian_'."

"Truly?! I will bring this up with the Hokage immediately!"

"She had reason."

"Wha-"

"She thinks I'm a demon."

"That isn't a reason! Sure, you're a little... _strange_, but most certainly not a demon!" She declares, stomping out of the room angrily.

It's a good thing she did.

I couldn't quite control my laughter.

Those I could see outside of my door were first shocked, but quickly fell into fear and proceeded to give my room a wide birth.

"Who knew laughter could inspire fear?" I mused, staring out the window and resigning myself to watching the old people wheel around and crash into things.

It was funnier than I though it would be, and I nearly laughed again as the nurse entered.

But, that would only make her scared.

It would definitely ruin my chances to be out of that miserable hut.

"Good news! You're getting your very own apartment, complete with a reliable caretaker!" She cheers gleefully, giving me an exaggerated thumbs-up. "Me!"

I stare at her, momentarily stunned.

"So... why?"

"What d'ya mean, why?!" She huffs, hands on hips.

"Ah, sorry... I'm happy, it's just... why did the Hokage agree to this?"

"He was hesitant at first, but I convinced him! Why d'ya think it took so long?" She replies with a smug grin.

More like nagged him until he finally agreed just to shut her up... what else would take so long?

"Well, thank you, but you don't have to do this for me." I tell her firmly.

"Nonsense, of course I do! It's already done, anyways." She smiles, patting me on the head like a dog.

I can already tell that I'm going to have an exhausting year ahead of me.

AVAVA

"May I enrol in the academy?" I ask my temporary caretaker.

"It's your choice, but the life of a ninja-"

"Is dangerous. I know. That's the fun of it, right?"

She sighs heavily, shaking her head. "I suppose I knew this day was coming. I'm surprised you didn't ask earlier."

"I would have, but I prefer to be in my own age group."

"Okay. I'll sign you up tomorrow, but I want you to read this first." She smiles gently, holding out a book labeled...

'REASONS YOU SHOULDN'T BE A NINJA'.

My hand immediately goes to my forehead, attempting to smooth out the exasperated crease that has begun to take permanent residence on my face.

It's only been a year. _Honestly_.

"If you just pretend to read it, you aren't going!" She declares, shoving the book into my arms forcefully.

She honestly thinks that _this_ will convince me.

Wow.

"It's your duty as a young man to inform yourself! Thoroughly!"

"Uh-huh. Anything else?"

"Well, now that you say- hey, where are you going?!"

I look back from halfway up the stares, blinking twice for emphasis.

I only get an impudent stare back.

"My room. To study. And read... _this_." I dangle the book in front of me, wrinkling my nose in disgust.

"You're reading that out here!" She shouts, stomping her foot.

So. Childish.

"Whatever you say." I acquiesce, plopping down on her favourite armchair.

AVAVA

"Let's start with introductions!" The teacher says cheerily as he sees us all in our chairs.

Well, most aren't exactly in their chairs, but standing on them is apparently good enough for him.

He gave up trying to properly seat everyone about five minutes into the class.

"You in the purple..."

I tune it all out, only coming back to reality when someone beside me starts poking me.

"Yes?"

"Your turn." The lazy boy drawls, head flopping back onto his desk.

"I'm Munashī." I tell the teacher.

I wonder at all of the stares directed towards me, but am unable to find a reason for them.

"Okay... can you tell us something about yourself?" He asks with an owlish stare.

"Like what?"

"Anything, really. Favourite hobby, something that happened to you, a good quality. Things like that."

"Okay... well, I suppose that wouldn't be an appropriate story..." I mutter to myself. "I like reading."

It seems as though the lazy boy heard my mutterings, but everyone else is immediately disinterested.

"Next." The teacher calls, motioning my neighbour.

"Shikamaru. I like sleeping." He says, receiving the same disinterest from his peers.

Though, it doesn't seem like he really cares.

I again tune the rest out, unimportant people with nonsensical impulses and idiotic ways of thinking.

I wouldn't say the same about the boy beside me, though. There's a few in the classroom that I haven't gotten enough information about to rule them out, but-

"I'm Naruto! I'm gonna b'come Hokage!" A loud blonde shrieks from the back of the classroom, nearly bursting my eardrums.

As expected with an outlandish declaration like that, most of the class bursts out laughing.

"So loud..." I sigh, plugging my ears while he yells at my new, annoyingly antagonistic classmates. Shikamaru nods slightly in agreement, his own ears plugged.

I stand up, walking towards the pile of children and narrowing my eye at their ringleader.

"While I do think that he is rather loud, you are even _louder_. I would appreciate it if all of you just sit down and leave him alone, so we can get back to training. You do _want_ to become ninja, don't you?"

"What's it t'you, freaky old man?"

"I _just said_. You're too loud."

"_You're_ too loud!"

"Am I shouting?"

He pauses, thinking for a couple seconds.

"No..."

"Who's louder?"

"I might be louder, but you're a _freak_!"

"Does this mean you'll stop yelling?"

"Ye-no! You can't tell me what to do!"

"Why not?"

"Because you're a freak!"

"What does that have to do with it?"

"You're not my mother!"

"I know."

"So you can't tell me what to do!"

"I'm not telling you what to do-"

"Yes-"

"I'm suggest-"

"Soo-gets, and all your weird words. I don't even know what you're saying!"

"Okay... I'm not telling. I'm asking."

"What's the difference?!"

"It means that you don't _have_ to, but I would like it if you would."

He pauses, then grins widely. "Well, if I don't have to, I won't!"

"So you won't yell?"

"What... huh? Uh..."

"Okay. Thanks." I smile, heading back to my seat and leaving a statue behind.

"Nice one." The sleepy boy comments with a faint grin, softly snoring but a second later in the exact same position.

The teacher opens his mouth to admonish me, but just ends up sighing and muttering to himself about the 'strange cleaver kid'.

It wasn't a cleaver, but I allow it this time. Simpletons don't like being corrected.

The class drags on for what seems like a decade, an over-simplified, highly repetitive lesson on throwing kunai the only thing to focus on in the spartan room.

So, I don't focus.

Shikamaru was sleeping before the class even started, me following suit only five minutes later.

Nobody can tell, of course. Both of us have longer hair, which easily covers our eyes, and something to prop our heads up with. He so graciously gave me the window seat, having come prepared with some sort of complicated device that he now wears beneath his jacket. It seems to cocoon his neck with some unidentified firm material, all covered in discreet grey cloth.

I feel a tap on my shoulder a while later, bringing me out of a strange, gory dream.

"It's lunch." Shikamaru tells me, bringing out his own box from his desk.

"I don't eat lunch."

"Would you like to step outside? The weather's nice today. Just the right amount of clouds..."

The request isn't as it seems, more of an excuse to be away from prying eyes.

"Well, when you put it like that, I think I've had a little too much sleep. Some fresh air might help." I grin, sliding out from my desk and following him to a picnic table outside.

"I'll get straight to the point. You're the 'Cleaver Kid', aren't you?"

"Why, of course. Who else in this village is a one-eyed albino? Just so we're clear, it wasn't a cleaver. It was-"

"-a kitchen knife. I'm aware." He gives me a small grin. "I heard you carry it around just to prove it... but that's not why I brought you here. I brought you here because everyone calls you a demon."

"If you know already, why are you speaking to me? Or... should I say, what do you want?"

He shakes his head, tilting it towards the sky and smiling faintly.

"I don't really want much. Just thought we freaks should stick together..."

•AVAVA•

And so, that was my... attempt, at fanfiction. Feel free to criticize or whatever, hopefully I will stop being lazy long enough to continue this?


	2. It’s-Not-Me!

Guy in blue: First of all, I'd like to thank you, I was quite worried that I was rushing everything and no one would be able to enjoy it.

Regarding the whole 'Cleaver Kid' situation, I was actually trying to minimize the amount of people who knew about it. The teacher is a Chūnin, so I figured he'd know from gossip at least, but maybe Shikamaru was a stretch. Then again, his father is in the loop about a lot of things, especially as a Jonin who's counsel is often sought by the Hokage himself. That information could have easily been joked about at the dinner table one night, or at least, that's how I imagined it.

If, however, you're talking about the whole class looking at him weirdly, it was because of his name. I used a couple translators, trying to find what would best fit his character. I don't actually know Japanese, but according to the net his name can mean 'vain', 'empty', 'void', 'ineffective', or 'lifeless'.

I'll try to be clearer in the future, and I really do appreciate the constructive criticism. Also, I made a cover finally!

Oh, one more thing.

BabySlothXYaoi: I definitely don't know what I'm doing, this is my first time writing a fanfic. I'm glad you found it amusing, and their friendship(?) is something that just happened on its own... I'm not sure where it's going either. Honestly, I don't know where any of this is going.

•AVAVA•

I'm in the Nara's backyard, a peaceful forest with deer all around us and a lazy river gurgling somewhere in the background.

"You really think we can pull this off?" I ask quietly so as not to startle the ever-alert animals, staring intently at the scroll spread out on our make-shift table.

"Probably. Our teacher is of average intelligence, and even though he'll be surprised, he won't question the higher-ups." Shikamaru assures me, drawing barely legible diagrams. "We're lucky you can copy handwriting so well, or this definitely wouldn't work."

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to read any report _you_ wrote."

He looks down at his scrawling print, sighing. "It's just so much trouble for a little legibility..."

"Don't worry about it. If everything works out, I can write the reports instead."

"If everything works out... we can finally meet _him_." The Nara grins, always in that sort of way that shows me he's too smart for sanity.

"The Blood Hound..." I giggle, twirling my precious kitchen knife excitedly. "I wonder what he'll say when we tell him."

Shikamaru nods, showing about as much excitement a boy as lazy as him can. "I can't wait."

AVAVA

It's the day after the exam, and a bubbling excitement can be seen in everyone who's left from the elimination.

"You have the list?" I whisper to Shikamaru, the answer clear as he slips a piece of paper to me under the desk. "Perfect timing."

The bell rings, signalling lunch, and we walk leisurely outside, the list carefully tucked in my large pant pocket. A heavily shaded corner of the field is where we make our base, a bag with pen and paper already stowed away in a tree's roots. I quickly take the paper out, noting the teams and their apparent impracticality.

_'Team 7: Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, Mūnashi: Kakashi Hatake._

_Team 8: Ren Tengai, Shino Aburame, Kiba Inuzuka: Kurenai Yūhi._

_Team 10: Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru Nara, Choji Akimichi: Asuma Sarutobi.'_

That's not going to work at all.

I switch Shikamaru's name with Sasuke on my paper, everything else the same so as not to raise too much suspicion.

"Okay, we're good to go."

"Good luck."

I nod, walking away and entering the school once more.

My eyes search the hallway discreetly, looking for any witnesses. Thankfully, the halls at recess are only used for the fountain, and I slip into the teacher's office easily.

"Mūnashi? What are you doing here...?"

I jump, wondering why the _hell_ he's here instead of where he's _supposed_ to be. "Oh, I just had a question." I tell him, trying to act as naturally as possible.

"Is something wrong?"

The concern in his voice nearly makes me swear out loud... he noticed my nervousness.

"Uh... yeah. I'm just really concerned about team assignments..." I grin sheepishly, playing up the anxious tone. "There's a few people in class that _really _don't like me..."

"I remember when I was your age... I felt the same way. I went to my teacher about it, just like you have, and do you know what he said?"

"No?"

"He said that it doesn't matter who likes you or not. If it's for the village, anyone can work together. A common goal can do more than you know." He advises sagely.

I sit down across from him, letting out a heavy sigh. "You're probably right, sir... it's just, all I could hear in class today was everybody telling their friends how much they didn't want to be in a team with me. They think I'm weird, but I just don't do well with so many people around..."

I see his eyes completely focused on my nervous features, concern plain on his face.

Fighting down a smile, I take advantage, subtly slipping the paper beneath his desk and disguising the drop as a depressed slouch.

Plan B: in effect. Shikamaru is always ready for a plan to fail, making me memorize backup ones behind backup ones. The window is still open from when we snuck here in the night, doubtless he'll think the wind blew the form off of his desk... like so many others cluttered on the floor that the messy teacher has yet to pick up.

"Oh, don't you worry about that! The principal will probably put you with Shikamaru, you guys hang out all of the time." He lies, looking left a little. He obviously hasn't been on the field in quite some time, he's too easy to read.

"You really think so?" I mutter hopefully, looking up at him through thick white eyelashes.

Tactic: Puppy-Dog Eyes, in effect!

"Of _course_!" He laughs nervously, scratching the back of his head.

I can see the relief as he notices my confidence return, guilt still written like a book on his features.

"Thank you, sir... yeah, we're gonna be together for sure!" I exclaim, smiling. "I appreciate this a lot sir, I'll let you get back to work."

I leave the room without further problems, fervently hoping that nothing else comes up.

"How was it?" Shikamaru asks me as I near our spot, head tilted up to the clouds.

"I had to resort to plan B, but it was easier than I thought. The Chūnin has completely lost his edge, and then some... just like you said." I grin, sliding into the bench seat. "Let's just hope you were right about everything else..."

"That's good, that's _good_!" An alien voice reaches our ears, my heart sinking as I realize we've been caught. A flash of silver appears from our tree, revealing the one person we both wanted to meet the most. "Never trusting anything that goes right... I like you two."

The mixed feelings are clashing violently, two bulls locking horns in an all-out war for the right to stay.

"Hello, Blood Hound." I greet, deciding on excitement while the good moment lasts. "I do hope you aren't here to sell us out, but it really _is _a pleasure to meet you."

"I feel the same." He returns, his eyes smiling in that creepy way of his. "Which is why_ snitching_ didn't even cross my mind! But, now that you mention it... maybe I _should_?" His eyes narrow to slits, and I grimace.

"That wasn't very smart of me." I admit, sighing.

"...hm, well... as long as you recognize your mistake." He dismisses airily, back to smiling.

"Thank you, sir." Shikamaru nods, a small smile on his face.

"You know what? Call me Sensei!" The Jonin chuckles, ruffling our hair. "Now, my cute little duckies, I believe it's time to see if your scheme payed off!"

We nod gratefully, grabbing our stuff as we hear the bell ring on Kakashi's eerily accurate cue.

As we're seated in the classroom, we see the Chūnin staring at his list in confusion, giving each other knowing looks.

"Um... alright. Well, let's announce the teams, shall we?" He chuckles half-heartedly, wincing as some random student yells at him to hurry up.

He lists a few teams with students I don't think could ever be anything, but even so, I listen, knowing that the unexpected often happens.

"...Team Seven: Sakura Haruno... Shikamaru Nara, and Mūnashi. Your Jonin Sensei will be Kakashi Hatake..." he informs us, a frustrated, obsessive Sakura arguing with a snooty Ino who seems to think she's already won the match... even if she has. No proper ninja should ever assume something so early.

He lists off more teams, everything going as expected, and the assignments are finally over.

"Your Sensei will be here momentarily-"

"Yo." Says a now familiar voice from the window, eliciting gasps from everyone in the room. "Team Seven, meet me on the roof. You have five minutes." He disappears immediately after, earning even more shocked gasps.

"Wh-what?!" Sakura panics, seeing us calmly walk towards her. "Hurry up, let's go!"

"Wait, Sakura. We need to be careful." Shikamaru tells her sternly. "Our Sensei is underhanded and sadistic, we can expect some traps along the way. There's no rushing through this blindly, hoping it works out."

I smile at her encouragingly, nodding as her face tells me her answer. "A normal pace, alright? We'll get there quick enough."

We step through the door, immediately being besieged by blunted kunai and a rainbow of paint. Me and Shikamaru jump back, only getting droplets on our clothes, while Sakura gets splotches and a few bruises from her slower reaction time. "The he-"

"That's what he meant. Our Sensei isn't playing games... well, he is, just... _you know_." I giggle, getting a strange look from the civilian-born girl.

Surprisingly, she shrugs it off sooner than I thought, only grumbling angrily about the 'stupid old man' and her stained dress.

The teacher blinks, but doesn't act, knowing the man who, by all means, should _not _have a genin team.

We walk through again, tense and ready to act at a moments notice as we pass through the seemingly clear hallway.

"Ah... he's using that." I nod in understanding, hand on my chin. "As expected."

Shikamaru makes an agreeable noise, eyes still flickering around calmly.

"Using what?" Sakura asks, more curious than frustrated.

She's turning out to be more interesting than I thought.

"We'll get more anxious as we get farther, waiting for a trap that isn't there. Then, _just _when we realize we're being played-"

A click warns them of the predicted trap, all three of them jumping back from... nothing?

"Oh! Wow, he's so _good_!" I gush, chuckling as I step forward again. "See, this-"

A silent dart erupts from the wall and speeds towards me, just barely being avoided.

I gasp in awe, staring at the dart stuck in the adjacent wall. "Ooh, that was..."

"A delayed, fake-false trap..." Shikamaru finishes, equally in awe.

"Hey! Stop being all impressed, and let's go! We don't have much time left." Sakura huffs, a furious glint in her eyes.

I snort in amusement as we both acquiesce, thinking just how wrong I was about her.

A few misleading traps later, we finally arrive at the roof, all of us varying in paint coverage.

"There you are! I was starting to get _worried_." Kakashi grins dangerously, all of our faces paling at his menacing expression.

"Was this a test, or a training exercise?" Sakura asks, wincing as his gaze gets drawn to her.

"Hm... it doesn't matter, really. Not only did you all get _drenched_ in paint, you're... _late_." He snarls, his grin turning into a scowl of outright disgust.

We shudder under his cold, unrelenting eyes, Shikamaru and I subconsciously taking a step back.

I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck rise up, skin electrifying with fear.

Still, Sakura's feet remain where they are, and his piercing gaze focuses on her.

"Hm? Oh, so it's you." He chuckles, his grin returning and the cold gaze suddenly gone... like the flick of a switch, the fear just disappears. "I was wondering which one of you it was. Oh, and you weren't late, or I would... well, you don't _want_ to know." He giggles, acting like nothing ever happened as we sit down on the steps hesitantly.

"'Which one of us it was'?" Shikamaru questions, an eyebrow rising in that delicate way of his.

"Hm... might as well." He agrees airily. "Sakura's more stubborn than smart."

"Wha-!"

"Oh, calm _down_. Despite what I said, you have a few attributes suited to close-combat, and while not very subtle, you have two teammates to fill the sneaky roles." Kakashi drawls, clearly not enjoying having to explain everything. "Everything you little duckies do helps me figure out what role you play. What kind of team this is."

"What kind of team is it?" Sakura asks, her anger down to a simmer.

"Well, I'm not sure yet... but I think I'm leaning towards assassination... maybe live capture, and field... _interrogation_. Oh, infiltration too." He adds as an afterthought, ever the picture of innocence.

"That's... some shady stuff."

"I think that's the point." Shikamaru snorts, leaning back. "But I don't think you're _really_ against it."

Sakura gasps in offence, a little too dramatic to be completely genuine. "I'll have you know that _killing people_ is not something I would ever want to do!"

"Who said anything about _wanting_?" He smirks in victory, his narrow eyes mocking the sky.

"That... that's not _fair_!" She stresses. "I'm not..."

Her face changes, a scowl replacing the feminine expression she had on not two seconds ago. "Cha! Is that any way to talk to a _lady_?! Mind'yer manners, or I'll squash yer brains out yer little skull!"

Shock takes over as she puts a hand over her mouth. "...I'm sorry. I- I have to go." She stammers, tripping over herself as she moves to leave.

"What are you afraid of?" Kakashi asks calmly, stopping her in her tracks.

"W... what are you talking about?"

"Playing the fool, are we? It's not like we're going to tell anyone, there's no need to hide."

"Hide...? I'm not... not..." she trails off, looking down at her shoes. "It was... _her_."

Edit: Oh, crap... I forgot I kind of let Hinata get kidnapped in the first chapter XD fixed it! New OC, don't really know how that's going to work out...


End file.
